It’s been a while.
I wrote a blog earlier about the validity of the opinions of others, with a summarizing statement that would go along the lines of:
“I learn from everybody, yet I follow nobody.”
Adorably rebellious yes, but it does closely relate to my sentiment of the value of others and their opinions.
A lot has happened recently, and I haven’t been blogging about it. I like the fact that I used to blog regularly. In the past I had been so committed to getting my thoughts down, that I have an almost completely documented list of experiences. It’s a great tool to reflect, and to also examine how your value structure and mentality changes over time. It’s a physical reminder that something as ethereal as the purpose you maintain to exist is ever so flexible.
Over this summer I’ve had untold expenses every month just get thrown onto my lap. I’m glad I’ve financially prepared for rainy days, but it’s difficult when there is a torrential rainy day every month! I’ve managed however.
Last week I got a flat tire, of course it was un-reparable, so I had to buy a new tire. Unfortunately I have Pirelli tires, and to get a matching tread pattern, I basically had to switch out all 4 tires because they were about to become bald. I mean I did get 40k miles out of them, but I didn’t need to drop 500$ on them.
I originally went to Discount tire to try and get a tire replaced; they wanted $700 for a new set of tires on a Honda Civic… REALLY? I told him that was too much, and he “Hooked up” a sweet deal of tires AND crappy generic rims for $800………. When I reminded him I didn’t give a crap about ghetto fabulous rims and I was looking to spend LESS money, he got confused. I called Evan’s tire and they had a deal on a replacement set of Pirelli tires and it was $480 out the door. Not too shabby, but wasn’t too excited about it.
I went and got an eye exam this week, I got one because I’ve been taking art classes in addition to my chemistry courses and I kept on needing to close my right eye whenever I needed to do distance viewing.
I asked Claudia to drive me, as I knew my eyes would be dilated and it would be difficult to drive. Of course a great plan, but not so much as her leaving her keys at BJ’s the night before and then in the morning trying to make me go on my own. Definitely a party foul, however I kidnapped her anyway against her will and drove myself with her in the passenger seat. She’s unable to drive my car because it was a manual but I wanted at least a second set of eyes in the car!
My eye exam was about 20 minutes, and I was very glad I brought Claudia. I have Aichmophobia, which is kind of an irrational fear of sharp pointy things around my face. Of course there is a glowing blue sharp probe that has to jab your eyeball to test for glaucoma which caused a freakout. However Claudia kinda danced around in the background to keep me focused on something else than this thing approaching my eyeball. How nice right?
From the exam, I found out that I have astigmatism in my right eye reducing my vision to 20/30 in that eye. I got glasses, and dropped another $140 (even with insurance!) but I did get help to pick out a very sexy pair of glasses thanks to Claudia (who picked them out for me).
Claudia also took me to lunch to be nice, which I completely overate at the buffet. It was too good!
I got my glasses on Friday, and when I first got them I thought I was ripped off. Everything seemed squished and blurry. I even told the lady upfront that she wasted my time however; she told me it takes a little time to get used to lenses as I’ve never worn glasses before.
It took about a day to learn how to see out of them, and WOW…. The world went from Standard Definition to High Definition. I have relatively good eyesight without glasses; however I didn’t realize that I was missing fine detail like textures etc. A hilarious thing that I can now see is women’s makeup. I couldn’t really tell before if someone was wearing makeup to cover up or if that was their natural skin. I can see it clear as day now!
I’m especially stressed, in that I’m not prepared to apply for my Biomedical program, and the deadline is December 12th, I still need to take the Subject Biology GRE, and I need my letters of recommendation completed. Any Biology PhD’s out there want to give little Joey a letter? :-D
I met with a man after my Friday class that is a vice president of a biopharmaceutical company in San Diego. He gave me his business card and told me to contact him, however I have no idea how to go about what to do with the GOLDEN ticket of opportunity.
I’ve been hanging out with my sister every Friday after I teach Turbo Kick recently. I’ve really enjoyed it. I kind of haven’t spent any quality time with her on a regular basis for a couple years now, it’s cool and I get to be with my nephew at the same time.
As for me not blogging as much recently, well I just basically got busy. I started writing a book, and kind of went into hiatus in writing it after reaching about 100 pages. I would continue, however whenever I tried to continue it felt like I was forcing the story instead of inspiration just flowing from some sort of buried novel in my skull as it had before. I didn’t want this to be treated as a homework assignment, or a paper I was turning in for a grade. I wanted it to be novel, and definitely an uncensored version of my thoughts behind basically everything.
I decided it would be best for me to take a break, and wait for that muse to return from whatever vacation she is taking. I believe the origin of the lack of motivation to write comes from the fact that I’m especially busy. I’m happy, but I’m busy this year. Due to there being so little time to just relax and re-examine my own personal philosophies there hasn’t been any revelations to communicate on the purpose of being.
My blogs would usually be focused on the discovery of a fallacy that I’ve noticed that society holds as some gold standard of validity. In some sort of raw and uncensored way I would point out the flaws of said logic and would beckon others to comment and agree or disagree with my reasoning.
A prime example of this would be the inability of most to understand the paradigm of thought, and how most people fail to both examine their own paradigm and how it influences what they consider to be good or evil. With the null of course being that all causations in the universe are without good or evil and it is up to the interpretation of the beholder of said quality to define such a non-existent event.
However in the age of Facebook, sensitive emotions, internet moms, and those that have never taken a solid foot into critical academia, being so uncensored and straight up saying “Your way of life is shallow and undefined” is probably inappropriate to those on the intarwebs.
I strongly hold the opinion that lovers of the truth welcome the possibility of being proven wrong. I personally almost find it exciting to be shown valid data in a given situation that completely destroys the paradigm I had built regarding a situation.
A good example is: “starving yourself throughout the day will make you fat over time. You need to eat all day to stay healthy and in shape.”
While that is a watered down and PG example of a truth, it is amazing how I know people that still want to cling to the thought that restricting food heavily for several weeks at a time is the only way to lose weight. Or that exercise is supposed to be painful, or abusive, and if you’re not suffering while working out you’re not accomplishing anything. Like the people that wear full on sweats, and an insulated jacket to a Turbo Kick class. When in fact, due to heat exhaustion they are unable to work out as hard, and they don’t burn as many calories while also endangering their lives.
I’ve always had a lack of patience for those that are easily offended to any threat on their own world view. If anything I’ve kind of have a passion to kindly paint clear pictures of said failures in reasoning. While I’m not omniscient and nobody else is, there are certain situations that people like to “Construct” as being true.
E.g, life is supposed to be difficult, nothing goes my way, I’m fat, I’m stupid, nobody helps me, etc etc.
While there is a very real distribution of these qualities I’ve also made a very strong observation that certain people actually CLING to these qualities as a definition of personality.
The one that says life is difficult has an excellent reason to attract pity for a lack of success in any endeavor, or a great excuse to not take on new endeavors because things don’t work-out in their favor.
The overweight, in that they’ve “tried everything” and still maintain their figure. While there is a true spectrum of physical body types, there are so many valid resources and counselors available to help with weight loss. How about do some real research, or even take a nutrition and physiology course at a community college? In addition for those with actual physiological issues, there are prescription drugs to treat them. However, being fat is a great way to avoid social exposure, to avoid situations that others would be less likely to be allowed to back out of. I’ve actually seen someone maintain their weight (obesity), to avoid the possibility of being in shape and being rejected by a girl. As if he WANTED to be fat to always have the reason “I’m ugly” when girls rejected him. When I pointed this out he basically lost it; however after a year of not talking to him, he lost the weight, and has his first girlfriend.
My dad falls into the category of “Nobody helps me”, and it’s been an unfortunately ingrained quality he acquired while raising us on his own. However, I’m always happy to point out in a comical fashion that he fails to ask for specific help in any feasible way whenever he pulls out that card that nobody helps him. He used to become deeply offended, but I think after some personal reflection he’s learned not to argue with a factual statement and moves on. Not the best solution, however it does keep him productive.
Truth can be painful, I will never deny that. If anything the allegorical “You can’t handle the truth” is very valid to a significant portion of the population. While I’m not advocating a Dostoyevsky mentality on the fortitude of the masses there is a clear indication that not everyone is either capable of the truth, or will be genuinely happy of the truth. One thing I have as a personal goal is if I have or raise children, that I avoid hiding facts to avoid mental pain. Not that pain is the medium in which we mature, but the aversion of reality causes far deeper emotional pain the learning how to cope with the truth. Although I’m sure telling a small child something incredibly awful is probably going to be more painful to myself than it is to them. “This is gonna hurt me emotionally a lot more than it’s going to hurt you emotionally.” Haha
Although I intend to blog again on a regular basis, I no-longer need it as much as I used to. I used to suffer from a mild anxiety, that actually stems from being unproductive I realize. As I stay productive, active, healthy, and goal oriented, the anxiety is non-existent. If anything I had a great system of self medicating through self discovery, as I came to great revelations through personal reflection and just actually writing it out. Don’t meant to get all “The secret” on you, because I personally see it as a farce but it does help to put thoughts to paper here and there. Or in my case, since my hand writing is horrific, text to screen. :-D
-Later
-El Yoey
No comments:
Post a Comment